Cain Rewarded for Murdering Abel

Cain was never punished for murdering his brother. He was, in fact, rewarded.

Genesis 4

1. And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
2. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

With only four people on the face of the earth, why would it be necessary to keep sheep (except for sexual purposes -- when the only options are incest or bestiality) or till the ground. Agriculture would have been totally unnecessary.

3. And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.
4. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:
5. But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

Why did Jehovah respect Abel's offering but not Cain's? Possibly because plants don't scream and bleed when they're sacrificed. As we continue through the Old Testament, it will become obvious that Jehovah is a particularly bloodthirsty deity.

6. And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
7. If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
8. And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
9. And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
10. And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
11. And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;
12. When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

Why should god punish Cain? If Jehovah is really omniscient, he should have known that Cain would be jealous and homicidally angry after his offering was disrespected. If that was the case, then Jehovah must have wanted Abel sacrificed.

13. And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
14. Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
15. And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

Now, instead of punishing Cain, Jehovah is protecting him. This is not the last time that God protects murderers.

16. And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

Dwelt? Dwelt? fugitives and vagabonds don't dwell.

17. And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.

Fugitives and vagabonds don't build cities. Real estate developers build cities. Cain was the first developer.

18. And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.
19. And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.
20. And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle.
21. And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.
22. And Zillah, she also bare Tubalcain, an instructer of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubalcain was Naamah.
23. And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt.
24. If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.

Cain's great-great-great-grandson knew that Jehovah protects murderers -- the more murders the merrier.

25. And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.
26. And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.

Original Sin

Now, we get to the fun stuff. The fundie bible thumpers will tell you that Adam and Eve's disobedience of Jehovah's command was the Original Sin or that the awareness of SEX was the Original Sin.

Well, folks, I'm here to tell you that they're full of male bovine fecal material. Jehovah himself committed the Original Sin. It's in the Book, in plain black and white, for everyone to see. If you take the bible literally, as the fundies claim to do, you have to see that Jehovah is guilty as sin. Adam and Eve are as innocent as newly created babes.

Genesis 3

1. Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
2. And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
3. But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
4. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

"Ye shall not surely die." The serpent just called Jehovah a liar. Not only did he call Jehovah a liar, he made three promises. 1. They will not die(in the day), 2. They're eyes would be open. 3. Theu would become as gods, knowing good and evil.

5. For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

Not only did he call Jehovah a liar, he made three promises. 1. They will not die(in the day), 2. They're eyes would be open, and 3, that they shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. Jehovah said "...for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."

6. And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
7. And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

Promise #1: They ate and did not die. Promise #2: their eyes were open.

8. And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.
9. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

Why would an omniscient entity have to ask, "Where art thou?"

10. And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
11. And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
12. And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

What a wimp. Blame it on the woman. The gutless scum sucker was there with her. He knew what was going on. She didn't dupe him into taking a bite.

13. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

Beguiled? Beguiled? Beguile means "lead my deception -- to deceive." Deceive means "to cause to accept as true or valid what is false of invalid." The serpent asked them to accept as true statements that proved to be, indeed, true.

14. And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:

I lived in the desert for a long time, and saw a lot of snakes. I never once saw any of them eat dust, which was plentiful out there.

15. And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
16. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
17. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife. Maybe listening to his wife is the original sin. Listening to Eve is evil. I'll get further into this a little later.

18. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
19. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
20. And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.

The mother of all living? Mother Nature? Jehovah hates nature worshipers, even though he allegedly created nature.

21. Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
22. And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil. Even Jehovah attests to the truthfulness of the serpent's promises. Promise #3 "ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil." There you go. The serpent told the truth. Jehovah lied his ass off. He is an impotent deity with empty threats.

23. Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
24. So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

Fundies will tell you that Adam and Eve eventually died. Adam died 930 years later. There is absolutely no mention of Eve's death. Mother Nature didn't die.

What about their disobedience?

Until they partook of the forbidden fruit, they had no knowledge of good and evil. Adam and Eve didn't know the difference between right and wrong. Jehovah told them not to eat the fruit and they didn't. The serpent told them to eat it and they did. Under modern legal definition they were insane. Not Guilty by reason of insanity.

The only sin I see, other other than the Big Asshole in the Sky's lies, is being ashamed of their bodies.

The Beginning continued

Bear with me, folks. Once we wade through this chapter, we'll get to the Main Event -- Original Sin.

Genesis 2

1. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.
2. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.
3. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

As mentioned earlier, the above verses obviously belong in Chapter 1.

4.These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,

"...in the day..." This appears to be a one day creation. A truly omnipotent entity should be able to make it happen ion an instant -- just imagine it, and it exists.

5. And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD
God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

The sole purpose of man was to till the ground? With all of the available food, there would be no need to till the ground.

6. But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.
7. And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
8. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
9. And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Remember 1:31? Everything he created is very good! Everything obviously includes the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil, which means that he must have created life and good and evil, which means that life is very good, good is very good and evil is very good.

10. And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.
11. The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;
12. And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.
13. And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.
14. And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.
15. And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
16. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:
17. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

"...in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." Now, that's what I call a serious threat. One bite, boy, and you're buzzard bait!" Jehovah (I'll use the fundies' favorite name for the deity) Did not say that you'll die spiritually, or that you'll be separated from him. The Hebrew word for "die" used here means physical death. In the other passages where the word is used, it means that your lungs quit inhaling and exhaling, and your heart quits pumping blood, and you're very still for a very, very long time.

18. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Adam was newly created and he has to name all of the animals in a single day? He was created with a vocabulary? Why? There's no one to talk to.
20. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

Did the LORD God expect Adam to fall in love with cattle, or the fowl of the air or a beast of the field? That's pretty Kinky.

21. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22. And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

That's the way it's supposed to be -- naked and unashamed. That's the way I am as I write this. I ain't wearin' nuthin'. I'm an old fart, so it's more comfortable than erotic.

All right! We got through the preliminaries. Now we can get into the Main Event -- Original Sin.

In the Beginning

Legitimate bible scholars view chapters one and two of Genesis as two separate versions of The Creation, with chapter one being the six day version and two being a one day version. Being an illegitimate bible scholar, I view chapter 2 as a detailed account of the sixth day. Scholars also claim that each chapter has a different author, wi6th the chapter 1 author using the Hebrew word for God to describe the creative deity, and the chapter two author using the name Yehweh (Jehovah to you KJV fundies.)

The creation story is stupid and boring, and I'd rather ignore it, but it does introduce the main characters and set the scene for the most important event in the Judaeo-Christian belief system -- Original Sin. From here on, biblical passages will be in regular type, and my commentary will be in italics.

GENESIS
chapter 1

1. In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
2. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
3. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
4. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
5. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

We should notice here that the first three days and nights of the creation had no sun.

6. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. 7. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
8. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
9. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.
10. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.
11. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
12. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
13. And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14. And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

Let them be for Signs? As in zodiacal signs?

15. And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
16. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

He made the stars also? It takes six days to create the earth; the sun and moon moon are created in one day. And the rest of the entire universe is thrown in as sort of an afterthought?

17. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
18. And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
19. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20. And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21. And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
22. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.
23. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24. And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
25. And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
26. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

Let us make man in our image? The fundies will tell you that Jehovah is using the royal we, He is not suggesting that there are multiple deities. There is a little problem with this explanation. Jehovah never uses the royal we when addressing lowly humans. He always refers to himself in the first person singular. Possibly, when he talks to himself, he is speaking to his multiple personalities -- and I'm not referring to the so-called Holy Trinity.

27. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
29. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
30. And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.
31. And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

I want y'all to remember verse 31. It is very important that we keep in mind that Everything he made was very good. We need to keep in mind that he made Everything. This will come up again when we get into Original Sin.

Whoever divided the text up into chapters and verses was not paying attention. You notice that the first thtree verses of Chapter 2 obviously belong in Chapter 1.

Blasphmous Bible Study

I am creating this blog to discuss the bible and religion.

There's very little good about the so-called Good Book. I will be a little slow getting started, and will probably slack off occasionally, but I will produce a chapter by chapter commentary, beginning with The Beginning and ending with The End.

For my biblical text, I will rely on the King James and American Standard versions. The main reason for these choices is simple -- they are in the public domain. I don't have to worry about copyright violations. Mostly, I will use the KJV because it's the one that the most fundamental fundamentalists use. Some of the Elizabethan English used in King James are really difficult to understand. In those verses, I use the ASV for backup.

I love the King James Version because, read aloud, it sounds so Biblical.

Before proceeding with The Beginning, I'd like to give my dictionary definition of Fundamentalist from Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary:
"Fundament: 2a.BUTTOCKS b. ANUS"
"-al: suffix-of, relating to, or characterized by" (an anus).
"-ist: 3. One who adheres to or advocates a doctrine or system or code of behavior" (Assholism.)

Please feel free to share this with your friends, acquaintances, associates, or known assholists.

Let's get on with the show.